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Valuable lessons on survival for the truly anti-social.
"Beginners Guide To Being A Bitch Hermit" - Copyright Jonathan Ian Mathers 2002-2008.
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Cast:
Script:
(A black background with the words 'A Beginner's Guide To being A Bitch Hermit. Nine Easy Ways to Avoid Society. Pops up as spoken.)
Foamy: A Beginner's Guide to being A Bitch Hermit. Nine Easy Ways to Avoid Society.
One: Work at home by selling junk on e-bay and mailing stuff from home.
Germaine: Where's the fucking packing tape?
Foamy: Two: Make sure the 56 K internet modem on 24/7 so no one can get through on the phone.
Pilze: I never get the calls anymore from my doctors!
Foamy: Number Three: Go outside no earlier than 3 A.M. Normal people seem to sleep at this time.
Germaine: I'ts just you and I Mr. Moonlight.
Foamy: Number Four, keep up with the latest news and technology using the internet.
Germaine: Auto-car?
Foamy: Number Five: Sleep during the day. (Germaine hisses)
Foamy: Number Six: Live on sugary junk food.
Germaine: Mmmm, sugary goodness in my veins!
Foamy: Number Seven seven seven...(Fades out) Listen to Morriesy, and The Smiths, and realize that the world is a bleak place to live.
Germaine: (sadly) Yeah, what difference does it make?
Foamy: Number Eight: Watch T.V. and complain about current Saturday Night Live shows.
Germaine: You...suck.
Foamy: Number Nine: Survive on stuff that was sent to you from Mail-order.
Germaine: Oooh, comic books!
Foamy: (Black background again) This messagehas been brought to you by: The Foamilian Cult Campaign to Keep Annoying Motherfuckers in the house.
{The Ending screen appears.}
Foamy: Stay inside!
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